


Irreplaceable Replacement

by ThornStone8773



Category: Kamen Rider - All Media Types, Kamen Rider Zero-One
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, No Romance, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:35:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23364817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThornStone8773/pseuds/ThornStone8773
Summary: Jin had a question for his father.
Relationships: Horobi & Jin (Kamen Rider Zero-One)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FirebirdsDaughter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FirebirdsDaughter/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I own nothing.
> 
> A/N: Birthday presence for FirebirdsDaughter. I hoped you liked it.
> 
> Inspired by [this post](https://firebirdsdaughter.tumblr.com/post/613783065820643328/thornstone8773-in-if-only-we-could-dream-wrote)

Jin walked down the hall of Hiden Manufacturing Co., Ltd. and stopped in front of the door labelled ‘Head of Research and Development’. He twisted the doorknob and opened the door slightly, peering inside. Horobi was sitting on his desk, back facing the door, busied working on his computer as he often did at this hour.

The young humagear stared at his father’s back. From as far as he could remember, he always loved that back, just the sight of it was enough to make him felt safe. When he stood behind that back, he was free to express himself; there was no reason to lies, no reason to fake a smile, no reason to hold back a cry. To him, that back was no different from a cocoon that helped a caterpillar to metamorphose to a butterfly.

However, there was one other reason why Jin loved that back…

With a gentle knock on the door, Jin opened the door fully and entered the room, prompting Horobi to stop typing on the keyboard and swivelled his chair to face him. ‘’Good afternoon, Jin.’’ Horobi gave him a small smile, as always, love and joy shone in his eyes… along with the tinge of sorrow that Jin _hated_ so much. This was the reason. Looking at that back gave Jin an excuse not to see the sorrow that marred Horobi’s affection.

Jin never doubted his father’s love. Horobi had done everything within his power to give him the happiest childhood any child could ask but… why Horobi always gave him that sorrowful look? What had he done to make Horobi unhappy? He never understood the reason; he never dared asked despite his bondless curiosity… until today.

Yesterday was the death anniversary of Hiden Korenosuke. As per their yearly tradition, Aruto-niichan and Izu-nesan would visit Hiden family gravesite to pay their respects to him and the rest of their deceased family.

Jin decided to accompany them this year. He had always wanted to come, but Horobi had forbade him, telling him to wait until after he had reached his Singularity and matured enough to learn some tact.

He finally reached those two requirements just a few months ago… and thinking of how embarrassingly naïve and ignorance his pre-awakening self was, Jin understood why Horobi had forbade him to go.

Visiting death family members was a solemn affair; regardless of how many times Aruto-niichan had tolerated and forgiven his blunders, it still not right to act childish and insensitive in such a place. Even Aruto-niichan did not crack a single joke, a habit he had a hard time letting go even for the most serious occasions, much to Fuwa-san’s chagrin.

Still, when Jin saw Hiden Soreo’s names written twice on the family tombstone, curiosity won against tact and the question slipped from his mouth before he could stop them. Nevertheless, just like the good older brother he was, Aruto-niichan told him about his late father, the pained smile on his face reminded Jin of Horobi… and that was when he finally understood: the ever-presence sorrow on Horobi’s expression was born from grief of losing a loved one to a tragedy.

With how his father reacted when looking at _his_ _face,_ Jin suspected he was modelled after that person.

Jin wanted to know whom his father had lost.

‘’Jin?’’ Horobi’s voice snapped Jin out of his reverie. He blinked and looked at his father who looked at him in concern. At some point, Horobi had get out of his seat and moved to stand in front of him. ‘’Is everything all right?’’

‘’No, everything is fine.’’ Jin shook his head and grinned. Then, his expression turned sombre. It was now or never. ‘’But I have something I want to ask you.’’

Horobi stayed silent, waiting for him to ask his question, Jin chewed his lower lips, not sure how to worded his question without hurting Horobi. It had been twenty years since Hiden Soreo passed away, but it was obvious that the wound was still fresh for Aruto-niichan. What if this was also the case for Horobi?

‘’Jin.’’ Horobi prompted.

‘’… What am I to you?’’

Horobi looked justifiably confused, but he answered anyway, matter-of-factly. ‘’You are my son.’’

‘’Who is the person you modelled me after?’’

Horobi blinked, the confuse look on his face deepened. ‘’No one.’’

Jin frowned. ‘’Then why are you keep looking at me as if you are looking at someone else?’’

With how Horobi reacted, Jin might as well have punched him. Silence hung in the room, heavy and suffocating. Then, without word, Horobi took a step back, pivoted, settled back on his seat and returned to his work, putting his back to Jin.

The young humagear stared at his father’s back. This was the first time that back felt like a wall that separated him from his father.

And he _hated_ it.


	2. Undeserved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prequel to the first chapter.

_Take off, toward a dream._

With a bated breath, Horobi watched Jin opened his eyes. Slowly, he sat up on the slab and proceeded to examine his hands, flexing his fingers one by one with a curiosity of a newborn.

Humagears had no stomach, but Horobi felt something like butterflies fluttered inside his abdominal region, ignoring it as best as he could, Horobi called him.

‘’Jin.’

The newly re-built humagear turned his head toward him and Horobi’s heart shattered to billion pieces when he found no light of recognition in his eyes. Weight of failure crushed down on his shoulders, with shaky legs, Horobi stumbled toward the newborn, wrapped his arms around his shoulders and tucked his head to his chest, glad humagears had no tear ducks; otherwise, Horobi would have ruined Jin’s hairs with his tears.

… Should he even call this child by that name? This child was not Jin. He had his face but none of the memories and experiences that shaped Jin into the person Horobi remembered.

His son was dead.

The realisation hit him _hard_ , instinctively; he tightened his grip around the child in his arms, seeking solace.

A pair of arms wrapped around his middles, clumsy fingers clutched the fabric of his shirt pulled Horobi out of his thoughts. Loosening his grip slightly, he pulled back a little and peered down to meet gaze with a pair of innocence eyes staring up at him with curiosity. A bittersweet smile overtook Horobi’s face. Yes, this child was not Jin… but this child was still his creation, _his son_ , he deserved to be loved too.

Horobi was not certain he was the right person to provide that but he was all this child had.

‘This time,’ Horobi vowed silently, stroking his son’s hairs and cheek, earning him a small smile and a pleased hum, leaning closer to the touch. ‘I will not fail you.’

Still…

‘’Your name is Jin.’’

He wanted to say that name again.

‘’Can you say that?’’

He did not deserve forgiveness.


	3. Worth Living

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sequel to the first chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: depending on the kanji, Japanese words had a lot of different meaning even though it had similar pronunciation. The meaning I choose for 'Shou' here was 'to soar, fly'.

Rains poured down heavily from the skies. The temperature had dropped to almost freezing point even Horobi could feel it in his circuits.

With comforter in hands, Horobi stalked down toward the room at the end of the hallway, through the gap on the door, Horobi peered inside. Lightning flashed, briefly illuminated the figure on the bed, curled up on his side with his back to the door, simulated breathing switched off for once, making him looked no different from a corpse _with burned skins exposing metal skeleton within, torn and shredded, wires sparked and blue bloods kept running—_

Horobi shook his head, vainly trying to dispel the memory. The downside to Singularity, humagears’ minds became as disorganised as Yaiba Yua’s bed hair in the morning, unwanted memories popped up without warning at the worst times. Sometimes, he regretted his reawakening. Even with his friends’ supports, the pain was too much to bear. More than once, he was tempted to hack and reset himself… better yet, took Jin’s old gun to his head and pulled the trigger.

However, this was not the time for that. His son needed him.

Quietly, Horobi opened the door and entered the room, thunder growled loudly like the belly of a hungry beast; the sound reverberated through the walls masking his creaking footsteps on the floorboard, stopping on his son’s bedside, Horobi called him.

‘’Jin.’’

Jin’s shoulders tensed, but did nothing else to acknowledge his presence. Horobi stared at his son’s back then tucked the comforter around him and eased himself onto the empty space next to him. He lay on his back, hands rested on his stomach, fingers entwined; eyes stared at the constellation painted on the ceiling. Outside, rains pattered on the roof tiles, the steady rhythmic sound easily lulled people to a calm, drowsy state; not even humagears were immune to it.

‘’Tell me.’’ Jin’s demand cut through the quasi-peace like flame-coated dagger.

Horobi let the silence stretched between them, mentally preparing for the pain that would come, and then started the story from the very beginning. How envy had drove him to experience his first Singularity, not anger or hatred but the desire to love something that belonged to him only, which resulted in the birth of his firstborn son. His meeting with Naki, his life as a slave under cruel, merciless Master for thirteen years and the things he had done during those times… including killing his own son, _thrice_.

At some point during his monologue, Jin had turned around and snuggled up against his side, one hand gripped Horobi’s entwined hands, anchoring him to the present.

‘’I tried to bring him back but…’’ Horobi trailed off.

‘’You got me instead.’’ Jin murmured to his shoulder. ‘’I am sorry.’’

‘’No.’’ Horobi jostled Jin in his attempt to turn on his side and cupped his son’s face, locking their gazes together. ‘’Do not apologise, you did nothing wrong. If you are not here I—‘’ He stopped himself.

Jin frowned. ‘’Horobi?’’

Horobi stroke Jin’s cheek. ‘’You are my son too.’’ He stated firmly.

‘’Why do you named me after him?’’

Depreciating smile appeared on his face. ‘’That is just an old man’s selfishness.’’ He replied. ‘’Your brother, after I… killed him.’’ He exhaled unnecessary breath, in respond; Jin snuggled closer, draped one arm around his middle and tucked his head under Horobi’s chin, caressing his back until he calmed down.

‘’It was subtle.’’ He continued, running his fingers through Jin’s hairs. ‘’But I noticed the change in his personality. Unlike you, he still had his memories from before, so I tried to ignore it, convinced myself that he was still the same as his old self but… the truth is, they are two different persons.’’ Horobi explained. ‘’Names means nothing. Even though you share the same name, that does not mean you are him, you are still you… though, if you truly want to change your name—‘’

Jin shook his head. ‘’No, Jin is fine.’’

‘’That is good to know.’’

‘’You really like that name do you?’’

‘’What make you think that?’’ Horobi inquired in faux innocence, prompting Jin to giggle.

‘’If my brother still alive.’’ Jin started quietly. ‘’What would you going to call me?’’

Horobi pondered the question for a moment. ‘’Your name would be Shou.’’

‘’Shou…” Jin said the name slowly as though tasting it, then, he smiled. ‘’I like it.’’ With that declaration, Jin tucked Horobi under the comforter and held him even closer. ‘’Stay here tonight.’’

Smiling, Horobi kissed his son’s crown, curled around him and closed his eyes, listening to the quiet hum of his systems, steady as a heartbeat, the proof that he was here and alive.

Outside, rains continued to pour down with no sign of abating; the temperature had reached freezing point. Yet, Horobi felt warm.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for reading.
> 
> English was not my native language. I apologised for the grammars, awkward phrasings and tenses you encountered while reading this.
> 
> Please, tell me what you think.


End file.
